To Be at Peace with Myself
“To be at peace with myself” is the lifetime thrust disclosed to me in a spiritual profile administered by Nancy Seibert of the Americana Leadership College. It was given to me years ago, but it immediately made an impression on my soul. It felt right.
“What does it mean to me,” I’ve said to myself time and again. To illustrate, I shall use passages taken from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet (Alfred A. Knopf, 127th printing, July, 1995).
Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?
(Page 3-4)
I am not a believer that one must suffer to attain Heaven. I believe that our real home is in the universe, and I certainly would choose a place in the universe where I would not suffer. But suffering seems to be unavoidable here on planet earth, when one considers that there is little one person can do to ease the suffering of others. Am I to ignore the sufferings of others, since one could say that some of them chose a lifetime of suffering through their own fault? Yet I know what it is to suffer when I am alone, whether this is true per se or because I am in a situation where I cannot relate with those around me. Yet, I do not regret release of my suffering, because I believe I can relate to the universes and feel better when I am not suffering!
Too many fragments of the spirit have I scattered in these streets, and too many are the children of my longing that walk naked among these hills, and I cannot withdraw from them without a burden and an ache. (Page 4)
I was born on April 24, 1935, and some days I feel better than others. When I travel about, I leave a part of me wherever I am. Fortunately I was born and live [in an extended] Detroit, Michigan, and I have never encountered a naked individual walking the streets. But perhaps this sentence means that Almustafa, the Prophet, observed the poor walking naked among the hills of his locale, which would be similar to those who witnessed our troops who fought in the U.S. war of independence. My heart would bleed for them, but how many could I clothe and feed? It would be a few, as it is now, with the limited resources I have and am doing at present through charities.
Yet I cannot tarry longer. (Page 4)
The ship that is waiting for Almustafa could be the “ship of death,” or the ship that will be waiting for him to take him to his universal home after his death. Some of us know when we will die. I don’t consciously know when I will die, although I believe that I am always ready to die. Of course, I would leave much behind, but I believe that much of what I leave behind would be an undying legacy.
The sea that calls all things under her calls me, and I must embark.
For, to stay, though the hours burn in the night, is to freeze and crystallize and be bound in a mould. (Page 4)
Many times lately I have wondered why I am still alive, because it seems at first glance I am not contributing. Yet even when I cannot avoid being judgmental about myself I know that I am. Perhaps this negative feeling came about first when I was doing a job I did not like or when I quit to go into semi-retirement. But I know I am still contributing, and I feel certain that I will be living and contributing for many years to come. Some believe that some die when a person’s own set purpose for living is completed. For me, I dedicated my life to be of service, and I still am of service to myself and others. If in some manner I or others were able to extend my life beyond this point, and I could not fulfill my purpose, I believe I would “freeze and crystallize and be bound into a mould,” because I would possibly be unable to grow.
And alone without his nest shall the eagle fly across the sun. (Page 5)
This means that when a person passes on he cannot take anything with him but the memory of his experiences and his wisdom. When a person looks truthfully upon his life, he will see more positive than negative and he shall soar like an eagle, for he will realize that he has done his best.
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep,
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you,
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. (Page 11)
This could have several meanings. The first could be that no one who is born on planet earth can be perfect. The second could be that even the highest born have some pain in their lives. And the third could mean that many are born into a life of co-dependency and/or other abuse where they have limited choice in their lives. This third meaning manifested itself in my life at an early date, because I suffered much child abuse. (My dad and brother could not help it, because they were abused themselves in their lifetimes) Though for some time now I am happy to say I have had much choice in my life. Yet, because of certain limitations imposed upon me generally because of my childhood, I still find it difficult to do certain tasks. However, we come upon planet earth to grow. Before we chose to be born, we were given the choice to accept certain pain we must endure to get the benefits we want. And the best way to grow is to look back upon our experiences as being designed to assist us to grow.
The Prophet is very beautiful and much of it is easy to read and understand. The following is a model for my life:
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say,
“God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love,
For love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires,
Let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
And give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart
And a song of praise upon your lips. (Page 13-14)
David C. Hakim
Rochester, Michigan
April 14, 2005