RESPECT 
 

“Respect” is a word that brings forth images more of pain, at times in my life, rather than of joy and satisfaction. 
 

My soul often yearns to acknowledge that I in fact do respect myself adequately. It is easy for me to show and give respect to others, but it is more difficult to acknowledge that I am respectful or worthy of respect toward myself. 
 

Spirit informed me the reason I am so slow to acknowledge the respect I have for myself is that it was slow in coming.  For example, when I was young I had front teeth that were in poor shape:  they were misaligned, one was missing entirely and the incisors were pointed like a vampire’s. 
 

Obviously people were turned off because of my appearance.  But my self-esteem was so low that, even though I went into military service, I did not request a dentist assist me in making my appearance more presentable. 
 

However, when I was about 26 years old I had a “falling out” with a girlfriend.  A short while later, after crying and throwing some pots and pans around my aunt’s home, she called my father who happened to be with his sister.  She came over and took charge, recommending I see a dentist to do something with my teeth.  The dentist recommended that I have five front teeth removed and replaced with a six tooth partial.  He also recommended that the forward thrust of my front teeth be eliminated by building up my molars.  
 

I cried when I realized that over a thousand dollars would have to be spent on me.  I actually felt that I was unworthy to have this amount of money spent on me! 
 

Some time later another dentist said he would have recommended that I should have had the teeth recapped and an orthodontist straighten them.  Fortunately this advice was not presented timely, for having had more than one flirtation rejected, I was anxious to get on with my life.  I wanted to get married. 
 

So on to the present:  It is easy for me to recognize that I adequately show sufficient respect to others.  I may be in tremendous pain at times but I am generally able to be good, kind, loyal, generous and loving and hold others in high esteem.  Despite all the generalizations I may make about having a rough life, I find it easy to express felicity or kind feelings toward my fellowman.  I enjoy being in the company of others. 
 

I do not expect reciprocity in my caring of others, except sometimes I get extremely angry at the discourtesy displayed by other drivers.  I have even come to the point of danger by my reaction to discourteous drivers.  Once when I was driving at 70 miles an hour and was tailgated so closely that the driver following me was directly behind me, I became so angry that I waved my fist in the air because I could not pull over.  This was not being disrespectful toward him.  My emotional reaction was caused because I was fearful that if I had to stop suddenly, the tailgating driver would plow into me.  It was also caused because I feel self-righteous when being tailgated:  I believe that being tailgated is actually an assault (not a battery unless I get hit by the driver).  When I was able to get into another lane, the former tailgating driver actually swerved toward me.  This taught me that as much as possible I should trust guidance and remain calm when I feel threatened by a tailgating driver.   
 
 

I am able to measure the amount of respect I give myself and others:  all I have to do is ask guidance to give me the percentage, and if the amount is over 75% toward myself and others taken separately, I know I am living the kind of life I find tolerable.  I seek mainly to understand that although I may be in pain this does not mean that I do not respect myself.    
 

As shown by my writing on “rejoice” in my website, www.davidhakim.com, I went through a horrendous childhood and early adulthood with not much joy and peace of mind.  However, I now find peace when I realize that I adequately express respect of myself. 
 

Much of my success in showing respect toward others is my display of courtesy and affection shown by my greeting of everyone I meet.  I do admit, however, that I rarely demonstrate such respect toward myself.  I am learning that the easiest way to grow in self-love toward myself and others is to imagine loving myself and expressing true concern toward others.  
 

Another way for me to feel more secure with myself is to request spirit to assist me by giving me a vision of colors around me:  “green” for “smooth sailing” and “red” for danger.  However, the color “yellow” would have to be checked out because it has at least two meanings:  one that love is surrounding the situation and the other a warning to check my boundaries. 
 

Dawn Overstreet, National Promotion Director of the Inner Peace Movement (http://www.innerpeacemovement.com/) adds the following: 
 

Maturity is reached when an individual can see into the past and those who raised him/her and evaluate how they showed respect toward him/her. Were they inclined to make sure their needs were met first? Were they goal oriented? Were they willing to ask for help?  Did they leave themselves out and do more for others?  Did they think that what they were doing would get them to heaven?  Did they show discomfort with their day to day routines?  Did they pass on their insecurities of the future?   
 

Watching and reviewing how those who raised you helps you to see the weaknesses that you were influenced by.  These weaknesses sometimes overwhelm the strengths, which in our years of growing to maturity are sometimes overlooked.  By focusing now on what can be learned from those experiences, one can advance to greater maturity and shed those habits and begin to respect the commitment it took to look within and find resolution to areas that bother you. 
 

Francisco Coll, founder of the Americana Leadership College (www.alcworld.com), Inner Peace Movement (www.innerpeacemovement.com) and the Peace Community Church (www.peacecommunitychurch.com), would say it this way: 
 

When one discusses “War and Peace,” he is really speaking about respect, about a lack of understanding and communication. 
 

To discuss “War and Peace” intelligently, one must go back to prehistory.  Our species was warlike, in that it guarded its staked out territory, its boundaries, zealously and killed trespassers. 
 

Today some have added ideology and economics to be fought for. Of course, a desire for power or to exhibit the power of a group can be an impetus for war.  
 

Peace is a relatively recent concept, although there have been periods in our history that some groups of people were more peaceful and peace-loving than others.  Peace must initially be discovered within, where the God-like part, the good, kind, loving part of us manifests itself. 
 

This is not to say that no good ever comes from war.  For example, Napoleon published written constitutions for the various governments he established.  Backward countries were educated.  Conquerors became civilized.  However, some of the preceding could have been accomplished diplomatically. 
 

Some say that war is a failure of diplomacy.  Some call it an extension of diplomacy.  Basically it is allowing the negative part of us fuelled by impatience to offset the positive. 
 

                                    David Hakim

                                    Rochester, Michigan

                                    January 24-27, 2007