SEXUALITY
One of mankind’s major
problems is his apparently insatiable sexual needs, which causes much
joy and tragedy in his/her life.
One of the most profound fairy tales dealing with this problem is the “Red Shoes” by Hans Christian Anderson, published in Andersen’s Fairy Tales (Grosset & Dunlap, Inc., 1945), page 62. A summary is the following from Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia [http://en.wiki/The_Red_Shoes_(fairy_tale)]:
Once there was a poor
little girl, named Karen, who was adopted by a rich old lady after her
mother's death. She grows up vain. Then, she buys a pair of red shoes
and repeatedly wears them to church, without paying attention to the
service. Her adoptive mother becomes ill, but Karen deserts her,
preferring to attend a party in her red shoes. Once she begins dancing,
she can't stop. The shoes take over.
She cannot control them
and they are stuck to her feet. And the shoes continue to dance, through
fields and meadows, rain or shine, night and day. She can't even attend
her adoptive mother's funeral. An angel appears to her, condemning her
to dance even as she grows cold and pale, as a warning to vain children
everywhere. Karen then asks the executioner to chop off her feet. He
does so and gives her a pair of wooden feet and crutches. Thinking that
she has suffered enough for the red shoes, Karen decides to go to church
so people can see her, but the chopped-off feet with the red shoes dance
before her, barring the way. The following Sunday she tries again,
thinking of herself at least as good as the others in church, but again
the dancing red shoes bar the way. Karen then goes to do service in the
parsonage, but when Sunday comes she dares not go to church. Instead she
sits alone at home and prays to God. Then, it is as though the church
comes home to her and her heart becomes so filled with sunshine, peace,
and joy that it bursts. Her soul flies on sunshine to heaven, and no one
there asks her about the red shoes.
The movie with the
ballet of The Red Shoes (1948) is the DVD premiere by the
Criterion Collection (www.criterionco.com).
Within it we see “[a] young ballerina, [Victoria Page] played by
Moira Shearer, torn between two forces: the composer who loves her
(Marius Goring) and the impresario determined to fashion her into a
great dancer (Anton Walbrook).”
Victoria solves the dilemma by committing suicide, leaping from a
balcony.
The following dancing
of Moira Shearer in the movie, The Red Shoes,
is a faithful reproduction of part of the fairy tale:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEi6YEvuzws
Another example of our slavery to our sexual needs is the following from the internet article, “Ask Lynn: Advice on love, by Lynn Harris” (my apologies: I forgot to note the URL):
Dear Lynn,
I’m writing
because I’m having a dilemma. I have an extremely strong attraction to
one of my instructors in my grad program. I am 40, and he’s a few years
older than me.
While I find him very attractive physically, other characteristics
attract me as well, such as his intelligence, humor, and compassion. He
challenges me, in a good way, which I enjoy.
The way I am drawn to him is not like anything I have ever experienced
before, with anyone. It scares me. He has actually taken my breath away
when he’s been close to me, and he seems to stand very close to me when
talking to me. Others have observed this. What makes this difficult is
that while I believe he has an attraction to me, he is in a long-term
relationship with “the mother of his son” (his words); they’ve not
married. I would not want to do anything to cause problems for him and
his relationship.
My dilemma: I want to tell him how I feel. I can’t determine if this
would be a good move or foolish. The class he teaches will be ending
very soon, and I am not sure when I will see him again. I don’t want to
have regrets or a “what if” situation, because I’ve had a few of those
in my past. Any thoughts?
– Baffled
Hey, bet you did
really well in that
class. Handsome, smart, funny, compassionate. You are officially hot for
teacher, as the song goes—and what a difficult but delicious feeling it
must be!
Unfortunately, however, you’re going to have to try and find that
feeling with someone else, someone who is neither in a relationship nor
above you on the school totem pole. Even if I could somehow endorse
hitting on an instructor in your program, which, for the record, I
cannot, I really cannot
endorse poaching, which this would be, even if he doesn’t exactly call
his partner his “Snookums.” You’re 40—remember the Police song, “Don’t
Stand So Close To Me?” Well… that.
I’m truly sorry. I do approve of your impulse here, the one that spurs
you to avoid regrets and what-ifs. They can seriously bring you down;
just ask the guy at the end of the bar. But while boldness and
risk-taking and caution-to-the-wind-throwing are generally to be
commended, they are to be eschewed when doing so could constitute
home-wrecking or jeopardizing your academic career.
Speaking of “What if,” you’re probably thinking, “But what if he’s
miserable in his relationship and he’d leave her (and this job) for me
if only he knew how I felt?!”
Trust me, that element of mystery is not the only thing holding him
back. If things ever do change — or if he wants them to — trust me,
through the miracle of Google, he’ll find you. And as for regrets, I
have to say: Sometimes it’s better to wish you had than to wish you
hadn’t.
Meanwhile, as I suggested earlier, see what you can do to learn from
this situation. What does your attraction to him tell you about what you
look for in men? Do you see any patterns? (Smart and compassionate:
good. Unavailable: less so.) Since, at the moment, your instructor is
off-limits, at least let your crush instruct you.
Lynn Harris is co-creator,
with Chris Kalb, of the award-winning website,
BreakupGirl.net
and author of the new comic
novel
Death By Chick Lit.
A journalist and essayist,
Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity, is described more
fully within
http://womensinfidelity.com/divorce.html
where she states much more than the following, writes:
|
The only place where you'll find out the REAL reason women are divorcing their husbands
"After researching women's sexuality for more than ten years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous."
-Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity
|
|
Women's relationships today follow a very predictable pattern:
·
They push
men for commitment · They get what they want · They lose interest in sex · They become attracted to someone else · They start cheating · They become angry and resentful · They begin telling their partners that they need time apart · They blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages. |
A study of biology strongly illustrates the
intense sexual need in nature.
Therefore, I conclude that judging oneself for getting carried
away is foolish. Of course,
one may get caught and regret his/her indulgence.
A partial solution is recommended by many religions: “Throw yourself upon the mercy of God.” This may work at least partially, since we are part of God and the power of God becomes nearer when we ask for His blessing.
I Belong to Me
|
Genre/Lang. : Pop |
|
Web source for the latest music: onlylyrics.com |
David C. Hakim
January 12 –