Perfectionism - By David Hakim

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PERFECTIONISM

Where does the overwhelming tendency toward perfectionism come from? Is it fear of being less than the best? Or is it because we lack pride and gratitude and fail to say to ourselves that whatever the outcome of our labor, we have done our best?

We let others or our own perfectionism overwhelm us. If we but relax, we can easily bring our plans to completion. We have sufficient vision and energy to accomplish most anything, if we give ourselves the time and patience to accomplish goals. We lose trust in ourselves or others if we listen to our fears. Fear snowballs fear, and a person overwhelmed with fear may find it difficult to be enthusiastic about anything!

When we are fearful, a chain reaction where we criticize ourselves and others may result. We may then berate ourselves or others for making mistakes, instead of acknowledging that mistakes are merely learning experiences, often unavoidable, when any individual or organization is growing.

Many of us neglect to love, accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are. Without self-love we feel inadequate and are not grateful. Without self-love we have trouble loving or caring about others and recognizing their creativity, intelligence and ability to make and implement decisions.

Without faith in oneself and others, one may exhibit dictatorial and controlling behavior toward oneself and others. We may then desire to escape or be preoccupied with fear, inadequacy, self-loathing and disgust. We must recognize that everyone, ourselves included, are gifted in some way. If we do not judge ourselves and others harshly, we create a healthy environment where we become happy and productive and pass this attitude to others.

It is easy to blame others when something fails. Yet we must recognize that the answer lies within ourselves.

 

David C. Hakim

Sterling Heights, Michigan

December 13, 1993