CONTROL
[This writing
would seem to detract from my quest to blend the principles of “The
Secret” (see
“The Secret”
and
"Enjoy”
in this website,
www.davidhakim.com)
in my daily life. However,
spirit informs me that it is highly therapeutic.]
To begin this
exercise, I wish to share a recent horoscope:
Taurus
April 20 - May
20
Now that the planetary shifts of the past few weeks
are over, you are left alone with your questions, your illusions, and
perhaps some decisions to make about your capabilities. Are you an
intellectual [just thinking] or a poet [letting my heart, or my feelings
control and dictate my daily activities], dear Taurus?
It's not always easy to tell,
especially when it comes to choosing ways of thinking or even ways of
living your life. You can use
words as tools for creating anything you desire.
Self-control and taking
advantage of many of the opportunities available sounds similar to being
free (see my essay on
“Freedom”
in this website,
www.davidhakim.com.)
As of now, I will limit this essay to my desire in wanting to
attend the annual retreat this year at the
For the past year I have wanted to go to camp.
Of course it is challenging to
travel alone. The
first obstacle I face is my dislike of packing.
However, my dislike of packing
is just the beginning. Last
year I missed the formal
Fortunately through subsequent counseling I have
learned that the cause of my dizziness may be the need to change my
blood pressure medication.
Yet, the worse deterrent is my age:
I have to tote luggage aboard two trains and not get close to
stairways with them. I have
many unspoken fears, one of which is that I am fearful of not being able
to hang onto my luggage (my luggage has slipped from my hands down
stairways several times. I had
checked to see whether anyone was nearby.)
These incidents have emphasized
to me the need to use elevators if available or ask for assistance.
Every trip I go through the same problems:
Is the effort worth it?
(Yes!) Am I just
lazy? (A little, but mostly I am just overly cautious and fearful.)
Is it because at age 73 I do not
have the strength I used to possess? (Yes, but formerly I never let my
age interfere with my plans
before. After all, other
than having flat feet and sometimes limited ability to walk, aging
hardly interferes with my daily activities.
With the longevity my relatives have, I could easily live to be
95!)
I have yearned to go to camp
because of the wonderful experiences associated with it (See
“Forward”
to this website). Earlier I
had a dream of not being able to participate in many of my desired
activities. This could
happen by my having a lack of energy at camp.
However, spirit says my missed events will be few.
I cry a little because of my inability to go to camp,
but I know in my dreams I will have some compensation for my loss.
Although I have knowledge of
the impediments facing me, I am attempting to discern the strengths
supporting my desire:
I need the delightful sharing at camp.
I do not look upon going to camp as a duty.
I look upon it as a great opportunity.
By going to camp I know I will gain inspiration to
write more.
I have no doubt that I would
add to the general experience of everyone at the camp by my attendance.
I do know that for me going to camp is the closest I
can get to having heaven on earth.
It would do me good to share with others, especially
to be able to hug everyone I meet.
David C. Hakim
Rochester