Control - By David Hakim

Rejoice! Rejoice!
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 A Choice To Carry On!

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CONTROL 

[This writing would seem to detract from my quest to blend the principles of “The Secret” (see “The Secret” and "Enjoy” in this website, www.davidhakim.com) in my daily life.  However, spirit informs me that it is highly therapeutic.]

To begin this exercise, I wish to share a recent horoscope:

Taurus  

April 20 - May 20 

Now that the planetary shifts of the past few weeks are over, you are left alone with your questions, your illusions, and perhaps some decisions to make about your capabilities. Are you an intellectual [just thinking] or a poet [letting my heart, or my feelings control and dictate my daily activities], dear Taurus?  It's not always easy to tell, especially when it comes to choosing ways of thinking or even ways of living your life.  You can use words as tools for creating anything you desire.

Self-control and taking advantage of many of the opportunities available sounds similar to being free (see my essay on “Freedom” in this website, www.davidhakim.com.)  As of now, I will limit this essay to my desire in wanting to attend the annual retreat this year at the Americana Leadership College in Osceola, Iowa:  

For the past year I have wanted to go to camp.  Of course it is challenging to travel alone.   The first obstacle I face is my dislike of packing. 

However, my dislike of packing is just the beginning.  Last year I missed the formal Americana Leadership College programs because my wife, Judy, was diagnosed again with cancer of the breast.  She is still undergoing follow-up procedures. However, later this month I realized that subconsciously I was worried about myself---that if I had a dizzy spell again, I would not be able to take care of myself.  I no longer I feel I have the independence to travel alone. 

Fortunately through subsequent counseling I have learned that the cause of my dizziness may be the need to change my blood pressure medication.   

Yet, the worse deterrent is my age:  I have to tote luggage aboard two trains and not get close to stairways with them.  I have many unspoken fears, one of which is that I am fearful of not being able to hang onto my luggage (my luggage has slipped from my hands down stairways several times.  I had checked to see whether anyone was nearby.)   These incidents have emphasized to me the need to use elevators if available or ask for assistance. 

Every trip I go through the same problems:  Is the effort worth it?  (Yes!)  Am I just lazy? (A little, but mostly I am just overly cautious and fearful.)  Is it because at age 73 I do not have the strength I used to possess? (Yes, but formerly I never let my age interfere with  my plans before.  After all, other than having flat feet and sometimes limited ability to walk, aging hardly interferes with my daily activities.  With the longevity my relatives have, I could easily live to be 95!)   

I have yearned to go to camp because of the wonderful experiences associated with it (See “Forward” to this website).  Earlier I had a dream of not being able to participate in many of my desired activities.  This could happen by my having a lack of energy at camp.  However, spirit says my missed events will be few. 

I cry a little because of my inability to go to camp, but I know in my dreams I will have some compensation for my loss. 

Although I have knowledge of the impediments facing me, I am attempting to discern the strengths supporting my desire: 

I need the delightful sharing at camp. 

I do not look upon going to camp as a duty.  I look upon it as a great opportunity. 

By going to camp I know I will gain inspiration to write more. 

I have no doubt that I would add to the general experience of everyone at the camp by my attendance. 

I do know that for me going to camp is the closest I can get to having heaven on earth. 

It would do me good to share with others, especially to be able to hug everyone I meet. 

David C. Hakim
Rochester
, Michigan
June 23-26, August 14 - 16, 2008