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Premature Death

This paper considers the cause, prevention and spiritual resolution of premature death:  From accident, disease, self-defense, homicide and suicide.  

The cause of premature death is the overpowering, sometimes conscious and subconscious wish for death.  This is brought about by dysfunctional behavior that mankind in general seems to have in common, whether it be low self-esteem, frustration, co-dependency (such as catering and denial of wants and needs), escapism, guilt, lack of self-control and control of others, desire to suffer, workaholism, distrust, worry, grief, apathy, inflexibility, giving up, loneliness, abuse, abandonment, lack of intimacy, disloyalty to self and others, fear, depression, anger, self-hatred and hatred of others, condemnation of self and others, and retaliation.  

Premature death because of extreme attraction to one another

Extreme attraction to another, whether it is unrequited or related to a dysfunctional relationship, can cause premature death.  For example, in Romeo and Juliet, the principal characters were bound by such an intense attraction for each other that Juliet was willing to drug herself to obtain the ability to join Romeo.  However, instead of personally communicating her plan to Romeo, she counts on another to give him the message.  And Romeo, upon finding her and believing her to be dead, commits suicide.  Why didn't they just elope, as so many others do where their parents or others are interfering with their romance? 

Much confusion exists about love and attraction.  Love is giving of self altruistically to oneself and others.  Attraction can be solely sexual attraction.  This attraction can be so overwhelming that one may seek out such a relationship or expand upon it to a degree that it may have disastrous consequences. 

First, we are subconsciously aware that extreme attraction can be related to spiritual love or ecstasy that is rarely experienced on planet earth.  Many people spend their lives looking for it and not getting married, possibly because they have vague, subconscious experiences with it in the spiritual realm. 

Second, attraction is only one part of a meaningful sexual relationship.  Without self-love, self-respect, realistic setting of boundaries, and love and respect of others, one finds difficulty living his life optimistically.  One may become involved in one dysfunctional relationship after another until he learns to live and let live.   

Third, if anything happens to or between the individuals experiencing this love, both can be extremely devastated. 

Prevention of premature death because of intense attraction can be by the concerted effort of both parties to compromise without bringing about a co-dependent relationship.  Giving of oneself in love, either verbally or physically, could assist.  The values of the parties should, however, be based upon a rational belief that it is right to do so.


Prevention of premature death due to other causes

To prevent premature death due to other causes, one must have sufficient self-esteem and self-confidence that he is able to trust himself and others and share his love and respect to himself and others. He must have the ability to live and let live and realize that others need not be idealized images of himself.   He must be able to be of service to himself and others and have sufficient optimism about life.    He must have an adequate amount of goal orientation, order and direction.  He must have adequate ability to work with details, predictability and availability.  He must be  willing to share, get along with and work with others.  He must be able to adequately share intimacy with himself and others. If anyone wishes he were dead, he must believe he has a right to continued existence on this planet.   And he must understand, know, feel and believe that everything is all right 

Spiritual resolution of premature death

Forgiveness of self and others is the key to being able to overcome the self-hatred, guilt, self-retaliation and shame that comes from dysfunctional living which can cause premature death.  If we cannot forgive ourselves, we open ourselves to much confusion and can create for ourselves a living hell, either on earth or after our passing on.  A cardinal rule from spirit is to recognize when one is judging and to choose not to judge oneself and others.  One must realize that he is doing his best. 

Don't all of us go through learning experiences on planet earth where we harm others, whether or not it is based upon ignorance?  Haven't all of us made choices, decisions, or otherwise reacted under some form of duress?    

Everyone has positive and negative aspects of his existence.  Confronting and overcoming negativity and/or making mistakes allows us to grow.  No one is permitted on planet earth without imperfection.  If an individual became so confused that he forgot about the necessity of accepting some negativity and believed himself to be forced into something he did not wish, he could create problems for himself and others.  Also, if an individual mistreats another for any reason, this could also create difficulty.   

When one confronts negativity, one can act positively, negatively, or take no action at all, which can be interpreted as positive or negative.  One creates his own problem if he chooses to take revenge against those who took advantage of him.  

Many are unaware of their transition when they pass on.  If one finds oneself in a situation where he cannot get others to communicate with him, he should see if he can walk through walls.  If he can do this, he should realize that he has probably passed on (I am saying probably because of the power of the mind to create its own reality) and ask for his spiritual guides or guardian angels.     

I choose to believe that goodness prevails throughout the universe, and that evil is an apparent aberration.  Yet, is there really any good or evil?  Isn't there essentially just learning to respect ourselves and others, even though what is respect for one is not always respect for another? 

                                    David C. Hakim

                                    Sterling Heights, MI

                                    December 1, 1995