Premature Death
This paper considers
the cause, prevention and spiritual resolution of premature death: From
accident, disease, self-defense, homicide and suicide.
The cause of premature
death is the overpowering, sometimes conscious and subconscious wish for death.
This is brought about by dysfunctional behavior that mankind in general seems to
have in common, whether it be low self-esteem, frustration, co-dependency (such
as catering and denial of wants and needs), escapism, guilt, lack of
self-control and control of others, desire to suffer, workaholism, distrust,
worry, grief, apathy, inflexibility, giving up, loneliness, abuse, abandonment,
lack of intimacy, disloyalty to self and others, fear, depression, anger,
self-hatred and hatred of others, condemnation of self and others, and
retaliation.
Premature death because of extreme attraction to one another
Extreme attraction to
another, whether it is unrequited or related to a dysfunctional relationship,
can cause premature death. For example, in Romeo and Juliet, the principal
characters were bound by such an intense attraction for each other that Juliet
was willing to drug herself to obtain the ability to join Romeo. However,
instead of personally communicating her plan to Romeo, she counts on another to
give him the message. And Romeo, upon finding her and believing her to be
dead, commits suicide. Why didn't they just elope, as so many others do
where their parents or others are interfering with their romance?
Much confusion exists
about love and attraction. Love is giving of self altruistically to
oneself and others. Attraction can be solely sexual attraction. This
attraction can be so overwhelming that one may seek out such a relationship or
expand upon it to a degree that it may have disastrous consequences.
First, we are
subconsciously aware that extreme attraction can be related to spiritual love or
ecstasy that is rarely experienced on planet earth. Many people spend
their lives looking for it and not getting married, possibly because they have
vague, subconscious experiences with it in the spiritual realm.
Second, attraction is
only one part of a meaningful sexual relationship. Without self-love,
self-respect, realistic setting of boundaries, and love and respect of others,
one finds difficulty living his life optimistically. One may become
involved in one dysfunctional relationship after another until he learns to live
and let live.
Third, if anything
happens to or between the individuals experiencing this love, both can be
extremely devastated.
Prevention of premature death because of intense attraction can be by the concerted effort of both parties to compromise without bringing about a co-dependent relationship. Giving of oneself in love, either verbally or physically, could assist. The values of the parties should, however, be based upon a rational belief that it is right to do so.
Prevention of premature death due to other causes
To prevent premature
death due to other causes, one must have sufficient self-esteem and
self-confidence that he is able to trust himself and others and share his love
and respect to himself and others. He must have the ability to live and let live
and realize that others need not be idealized images of himself. He
must be able to be of service to himself and others and have sufficient optimism
about life. He must have an adequate amount of goal
orientation, order and direction. He must have adequate ability to work
with details, predictability and availability. He must be willing to
share, get along with and work with others. He must be able to adequately
share intimacy with himself and others. If anyone wishes he were dead, he must
believe he has a right to continued existence on this planet. And he
must understand, know, feel and believe that everything is all right
Spiritual resolution of premature death
Forgiveness of self and
others is the key to being able to overcome the self-hatred, guilt,
self-retaliation and shame that comes from dysfunctional living which can cause
premature death. If we cannot forgive ourselves, we open ourselves to much
confusion and can create for ourselves a living hell, either on earth or after
our passing on. A cardinal rule from spirit is to recognize when one is
judging and to choose not to judge oneself and others. One must realize
that he is doing his best.
Don't all of us go
through learning experiences on planet earth where we harm others, whether or
not it is based upon ignorance? Haven't all of us made choices, decisions,
or otherwise reacted under some form of duress?
Everyone has positive
and negative aspects of his existence. Confronting and overcoming
negativity and/or making mistakes allows us to grow. No one is permitted
on planet earth without imperfection. If an individual became so confused
that he forgot about the necessity of accepting some negativity and believed
himself to be forced into something he did not wish, he could create problems
for himself and others. Also, if an individual mistreats another for any
reason, this could also create difficulty.
When one confronts
negativity, one can act positively, negatively, or take no action at all, which
can be interpreted as positive or negative. One creates his own problem if
he chooses to take revenge against those who took advantage of him.
Many are unaware of
their transition when they pass on. If one finds oneself in a situation
where he cannot get others to communicate with him, he should see if he can walk
through walls. If he can do this, he should realize that he has probably
passed on (I am saying probably because of the power of the mind to create its
own reality) and ask for his spiritual guides or guardian angels.
I choose to believe
that goodness prevails throughout the universe, and that evil is an apparent
aberration. Yet, is there really any good or evil? Isn't there
essentially just learning to respect ourselves and others, even though what is
respect for one is not always respect for another?